The JJprise and Abramsverse (GRAAAAAAAA!)

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I keep hearing "Hey!  Why don't you do X from the Star Trek reboot?"

No, probably not.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I enjoyed both JJ Abrams Star Trek films.  They are PRETTY.  I like the look of the ships.  Apparently Apple won the design contract for the bridge controls.  I love his spin on the Klingons.


My problems are actually with Abram's sense of scale.  The ships are HUGE, the universe is tiny.  How big is the JJprise?  Show me a coherent deck plan.  The old trek had one amazing asset that Abrams seems to have neglected; a naval architect.  Granted, Matt Jeffries has become permanently unavailable but there ARE others.

I get it.  He's making movies for the masses.  The average Joe isn't going to notice that the scale of the ship suggested by the shuttle bay doesn't match that of the bridge, the number size and placement of the windows, or that of the people walking on it during construction.  Is it 350M long?  Is it 1500M long?  That depends on the angle of the shot and what will look coolest at the moment.   I'm one of the weirdos who notices these things, and it really breaks my suspension of disbelief.    In places,  I felt like I was watching a 5 year old tell a story by banging his toys together and yelling "..And THEN.   and then.  AND THEN the T REX!  He  um.  He jumps out behind a CAR and flies a MILLION miles GRAAAAAAAAA!  An then he EATS the DEATH STAR and my SISTER!  AND.  And.  um. and, but his mom made him take a nap so he had peanut butter instead. the end."

Building ships makes me pay close attention to details.  Paying attention to details in JJ Abrams universe makes me want to stab people.   Don't make me want to stab people.